Neighbor

Neighbor - a person who lives near another; a person who shows kindliness or helpfulness toward his or her fellow humans: to be a neighbor to someone in distress.

Last summer, after a long, exhaustive and invariably interesting search my wife and I closed on our first home and moved in. We were fortunate to be welcomed to the neighborhood by a friendly older lady from next door.

During the past year we have said hi to our friendly neighbor on many occasions and have had the opportunity to be helpful a few times.

Last night was different. It was around 9:30pm when we heard the door bell ring. A bit annoyed (we hardly ever get unexpected visitors) I proceeded to the door wondering "what now?". I was surprised to see our friend from next door standing on our porch sobbing. We invited her in and began to try and determine what was wrong and what we could do to help. Before I go on, I need to fill you in on a few things. Firstly, our neighbor is a widow - she lost her husband to cancer about 31/2 years ago after being with him from the age of 16 - I would say she was about 68 years old presently. Secondly, she is Portuguese and her English is very poor. Thirdly, my wife and I speak nothing but English. Finally, we never knew her name. In a whole year, we never took the time or had the opportunity to exchange names - good lord!

So, back to what happened... After a bit of probing, through her sobs she explained that she was missing her husband and was very lonely. She said that she had no companionship and really missed her husband. Of course this instantly broke our hearts and must have been particularly hard for my wife as her father passed away 5 years ago on 6/10 and her mother is all alone - in another country, no less. Our thoughts ran immediately to our families so many miles away from us and how we should appreciate them more and visit more often. As we continued to console our neighbor she said that she wished she could die - she admitted that she was on medication for depression and that tonight it didn't seem to be working. We asked her if she would like us to call someone for her - we knew that she had adult children, at least one of whom lived near by. She refused, saying it was ok. It seemed as though she thought that she was going to be a bother to them and didn't want to call. This was such a sad situation. We take so much for granted it is unbelievable. After sitting and talking for a while when she had composed herself she decided to go home - we offered her to stay as long as she wished but she said that she would go as the medication was beginning to make her feel sleepy (again all of this was based on our interpretation of her poor English so may not all be entirely accurate although I did feel like I was understanding most of what she was trying to convey). Before she left I made sure to ask her name and to provide her with ours. I walked her to her door and said good night. On my return, my wife and I promised to check in on her in the morning, which we did, and to invite her over and pay her a visit at least weekly, which we will do.

We get so busy and self absorbed that we miss the truly valuable moments and opportunities to have a positive impact on the lives of others. We also make bold assumptions about how people feel or how they are coping with life. I must say that last night was a valuable lesson that I will never forget. Being a good neighbor isn't about keeping up with the Joneses and the Smiths but about being there to offer a helping hand, a kind word, a pleasant smile.

In this fast paced, impersonal world, the challenge is to cease the opportunity to peak over the fence or cross the street and say hi to the people around you. You never know when you may have to knock on their door for help.

Complete

Nature is complete because it does not serve itself.

The sage places himself after and finds himself before,
Ignores his desire and finds himself content.

He is complete because he does not serve himself.

-LaoTze-